by Christopher Cassidy
INT. COMMUNITY CENTER – EVENING
A group of people sit around a table at a community center.
Good evening, everyone! Welcome to the first-ever meeting of the Bucks County community service task force. Thank you for expressing interest in helping out your community. We hope to make some real progress here. Before we begin, I thought it would be useful if we did a quick icebreaker to introduce ourselves. How does 2 Truths, 1 Lie sound?
EVERYONE agrees, more or less.
Excellent! I’ll go first. Hello, my name is Denise. My three facts are: I have a cat named Benny, I played soccer in college, and I’m originally from Boston.
MARK, another attendee, raises his hand.
I don’t think you were born in Boston. I could hear that South
Philly accent from a mile away.
Haha, you got me. Who wants to go next?
I’ll go! Hi, my name is Bill. My facts are: My middle name is
Gordon, I like to eat zoo animals, and I just came back from a
trip to Brazil.
People shoot each other suspicious looks.
Excuse me, Bill, what did you just say?
I’m sorry, I misspoke. I thought we were playing 1 Truth, 2 Two
Lies. What I meant to say was: My middle name is Gordon, I like
to eat zoo animals, and I’ve got a thing for cute zebras.
People are alarmed.
Bill, I’m sorry but what is-
Oh my god, did I just say that? I didn’t mean to come off that
way. I’m a zoologist at Drexel. I’ve spent years studying
sub-Saharan mammals. It’s my thing. I hope you guys didn’t get a
bad impression. I guess I’m not thinking straight tonight. My
Whew, that makes much more sense. Moving on-
You know what though? I’ve never really been a fan of 2 Truths,
1 Lie. It’s too complicated. Do you mind if we play High, Low,
DENISE is surprised but doesn’t interfere.
Great! How about you go first.
BILL looks at LAURA, who is startled.
Oh, um, I guess my high this week was finally ordering a new
sofa for the living room. My low was getting a parking ticket.
And my surprise was hearing that a zebra was stolen today from
the Philadelphia Zoo.
Wow, that’s pretty wild. I guess I’ll go now. My high was
getting a good price on a new smart TV. My low, ironically, was
paying the tax for the TV. And my surprise was discovering the
rush of making out with a live zebra.
People are shocked.
Don’t even get me started about that last one.
Okay, Bill. We’ve had enough. I think it’s time we moved on.
You’re right. This game kinda sucks, now that I think about it.
Let’s switch again. It’ll be the last time, I promise. Let’s
play Key Exchange. Everyone close their eyes and put their car
keys in the middle of the table.
EVERYONE reluctantly agrees and puts their keys in the middle.
Great! Now let’s go around the table and guess which key belongs
to whom. Denise, you’re up first. Does anyone have any guesses
about Denise’s keys?
Uhh, I think Denise’s keys are the ones with the soccer ball,
because she played in college.
Nice work! My turn! What do you guys think about me?
Bill, do you own the Toyota keys?
No, good guess though. I drive a white Ford van. The trunk space
is so big, you could fit a whole zebra back there if you really
MARK pulls out his phone.
Hey Laura, I just got this emergency text message. I think it’s
related to that zebra you talked about earlier. It says to look
out for a white Ford van. They say it was last seen driving around Bucks County.
EVERYONE looks at BILL.
That just reminded me I left something in my van. I’m gonna see
if everything is alright. Be right back.